Done Almost Nothing

i dont know what it is that i feel but i feel something.  when we are together all is content, when apart all is content but something inside of me stirs to see the first three letters of his name on my phone.  its like i have been waiting all my life for whatever the text says.  normally its something mundain or stupid or just plan conversational, but once in a great while he says just a few words that make my heart race for more.  i dont look at him and feel attraction.  i do miss him when its been a few days.  i know that i would not want this man as my husband.  as many good attributes he has, there a few ones that i would find truly annoying if in a relationship with him.  i do know that i love him.  i dont know what kind of love it is.  it is one i have never felt for anyone else.  i dont have the desire to have passionate sex with him but sometimes i dream of making love to him.  its such a strange love to feel.  i dont even know what to do with it. 
sometimes he can say little things and they hurt to no end.  other times i see that look of in his eyes of admiration for another woman and boil with jealousy...but what am i jealous of?  we have a great friendship and like i said, i dont want to be with him.  he makes me laugh like no matter how i feel and sometimes i just need a simple text from him to brighten my day.  once and a while i catch myself saying im in love with him....but im not....or am i.  is the feelings that i have for him, grown adult love, a mature love?  at this point in my life i have only associated myself with men that give me that giddy feeling.  he doesnt make me feel giddy, but there are dreams, dreams where no one else around matters and i can feel his touch, his lips, his hands.  i dont yearn for it, i dont know, i think im just crazy